My Time 4 Talk by Madona Cole-Lacy

Even though birthdays are regarded as the foremost occasions that call for celebrating family and friends, some believe that people must be celebrated more often. The celebration I speak of is one that makes our loved ones and people in our circle feel appreciated for the human beings that they are, and for the unique gifts they bring to the giant table of the world. In a world where people connect only to disconnect when they feel their purpose is no longer being served, it is necessary for us to at least identify those whom we will forever celebrate – no matter what. This mindset will no doubt help to make the world a smaller place.

Birthdays afford us the opportunity to reflect on not just the life of those we are celebrating, but also on the way we have interacted with them. When we celebrate the birthday of someone as close to us as a daughter or a son, we cannot help but think of and acknowledge their achievements, and wish for them the greatest success as they continue to navigate life, and meet our expectations of them as well as their own expectations of themselves.

This is no different in the case of our daughter, Madona Ayorinde, whom we recently celebrated in a special way on her birthday. Her step-dad and I will forever be proud of her and all her accomplishments thus far. I know of none other who believe as much in her ability to obtain excellence in all that she does!

Mother and Children

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Dear Madona Ayorinde,

The most precious gift we can give you at this time comes in form of a request. We ask that you build upon your successes, and learn with the ultimate goal to grow from your mistakes and missteps in very much the way that we as parents have tried to facilitate this with you. We celebrated you on September 28th in very much the same way we celebrate you today.  In case you are wondering what happened to the usual Mommy Rant that has become a family tradition, I say, wonder no more, for here it comes. My Mommy Rant, this time, comes with an invitation for readers to use it as a springboard to develop their own Mommy or Dad Rant, or as a personal development tool. I know you won’t mind sharing. Here goes!

                                                 Mommy Rant to a Precious Young Adult Daughter

1. Young adulthood is that time of our life when we exercise the freedom to synthesize and to put into action our understanding of the teachings and guidance that we have received and perhaps rebelled against in the past, as it all begins to make sense to us. It is a choice-making, responsibility-taking, ownership-claiming and consequence-suffering time of life!
2. Be aware of the fact that bullying and peer pressure might begin in the school yard, but do not for one moment think that they end there. They unfortunately, make their way into adulthood. Prepare to gracefully disarm people who consider you a potential victim.
3. Define your position as a contributing member of society and stick to it – knowing that you are most capable of competing with yourself …to be the best that you can be.
4. There is a phenomenon known as capitalizing on weaknesses, and yes, there are those who specialize in doing just that. These perpetrators tend to keep away from those they know or suspect are well aware of their personal weaknesses and are actively working on areas of their lives that need improvement. Do not, under any circumstance, present yourself as a potential victim of these opportunists who come as wolves in sheep’s clothing.
5. Friends we bare our souls to should be those who have a track record of being there for us within the context of a symbiotic relationship. They are sensitive, open and honest with us, and more concerned about helping us be our best selves than they are about not wanting to “hurt our feelings”.

The news flash on friendship is that since time immemorial, true friends have been few and far between. Always remember that each “friend” has a best friend they, in the absence of the right level of maturity, might feel inclined to share your most intimate information with. Turn on your emotional filter and think before you share with “friends” you cannot vouch for!

Caring, mature adults or family members you trust are always available to lend a listening ear. Be leary of villagers with  ulterior motives – do your research. Remember that learning and teaching does take place outside the confines of the classroom, and we must be willing to apply necessary strategies when the occasion calls for it.

And oh, lest I forget, while I am not worried about anyone coming into your life to “take my place” as the mother you were meant to perpetually have in your life,  I must end by saying this: make sure the man you allow into your life, is one who shows as much respect for himself as he does for you. Exercise the freedom to choose one who is deserving of the queen you were brought up to be. Dad and I will forever be there for you. The door remains open.

We love you Madona! The world awaits Ayorinde – the Joy that Walks In!

 Loving forever, liking for always….,

 “Mommyyy” and Dad