Honor Your Father and Your Mother: Something to Think About

“Honor your Father and your Mother…..”

These words for the wise are quite sufficient. Or are they? It depends on who you pole. For me, it is a resounding ‘yes’. I thank my parents for inculcating in me, a sense of respect and for modeling just how that was to be used in my lifelong interactions with them, my grand-mother and great-grandfather.

In the company of three people I will forever honor.

The awareness of how my behavior impacts them and their legacy will forever be on default mode for me!

Mama and Papa – Mr. & Mrs. C. R. A. Cole
I could not have wished for a more committed Dad to partner with me in addressing the needs of my children.
How I miss your ever-present wisdom Papa!

In recognition of Father’s Day 2019, I respectfully salute all fathers and father figures who do their very best to have a positive impact on the lives of children – theirs or someone else’s. Thank you for a job well done. In case the fruit of your labor is not as yet that evident to the naked eyes, do not be discouraged, for the time will come when they will acknowledge the seeds of honor you have sown. I extend these sentiments to all mothers and all parent figures too!

Telling It Like It Is
Another perspective that begs for examination places the onus solely on the children. In today’s society, some mothers and fathers have unwittingly placed their children between a rock and a hard place as they play mind games with these unsuspecting and “needy” young people. This is found most often in contentious relationships between parents who are engaged in what I term, “DDPD -dangerous distant parenting dynamics” – one which does not necessarily imply physical distance.

This dynamic inevitably pits a child against one parent for the disgustingly sick sense of gratification or revenge of the other parent, while the children are left operating “on empty” when it comes to the integrity side of life.

Questions to Ponder

1. How then can these children develop an appreciation for the targeted parents when they have fallen prey to the antics of their own flesh and blood?

2. How do they pass on the Honor Barton to their own children if they decide to take the risk of bringing children of their own into this world after all this?

My Humble Advice…to children of all mothers and fathers who are indeed deserving of honor:

1. Hold on to your God-given pure sense of integrity – the sense of right or wrong that you displayed when you had no idea of how flattering parental manipulation could be.

2. Be your authentic selves – see your parents for who they are as individuals – pray for them and wish them well.

3. Do not get caught up in being used to inflict one parent’s vandeta on the other. Their flaws are not yours to fix or to bandage, neither are their subliminal or not-so-subliminal narratives yours to promote.

4. Remember that parents/adults are not infallible. They make mistakes too. If it does not sound or feel right, do not engage. Don’t allow yourself to be used in this way even if you think you are in control of how and what you do.

Honor your Father and your Mother..and while you are at it, honor yourself too. This is an order with implications that are pretty loaded.

Folks, it is time to pray most fervently — regardless of whether we are guilty as charged or not. Our time has come to consciously contribute to making this world a much more pleasant place for us and generations to come.

This is my take. What’s yours?

As I sign off, I would like to give credit to Dr. Lizette Wright-Polk for the Facebook post below which inspired me to write this blog post.

Madona Cole-Lacy, M.A.Ed.
Program Director/Facilitator
http://www.mytimehascome.org

My Dot-Connecting Mission
http://www.Iconnectthedotsofcreativity.org

Thanksgiving 2018: Thank You Lord!

We thank you, God, for bringing us this far through a journey of dashed hope to a state of improved health that makes it possible for us to celebrate Thanksgiving 2018 with a different frame from of mind.

We have much to be thankful for…even as we journey through the tunnel of uncertainty in areas of our lives we will fear no evil.

Thank you is in order to everyone who has been obedient to the Spirit and reached out to us. Even though they may not have known why they were led to doing so, they did it anyway. May God bless them richly with like-minded people in their lives!

Pay it forward today and…everyday!

As I thank God for the opportunity to learn new lessons of life on a daily basis, I pray that all who read this will reach out to someone they believe might be in need of a hug today…be it virtual, in person or in their own unique way. Consider this a sign of gratitude to humanity that God will approve of.

Have a Happy and Meaningful Thanksgiving!

Sarah of Capital One Bank Adds to the Excitement!

When on August 3rd, I announced, “Our Celebration of Life Together Continues”, in my thank you message to all our thoughtful friends who had acknowledged our anniversary celebration, I had no preconceived notion of what form the celebration would take. I just knew that my husband and I were committed to celebrating our union on an ongoing basis – come hell or high water. Before I go any further, I want to thank everyone who has since extended sentiments and love to us. We thank you, for placing a smile on our faces as your contribution to our ongoing celebration.

When a delivery from 1-800FLOWERS.com was made a few days later, we were alerted to the reality that we might have to make room for other unexpected contributors to this celebration. As if this mystery package was not enough of a spirit booster, it was the elation that ensued when we set eyes upon the contents that stepped up the experience to the level of a rather successful attempt to minister to us.

This was not just a move to send us flowers to help us celebrate our 14th wedding anniversary. Sarah of Capital One Bank, who according to the accompanying note, I must have connected with recently, had chosen to mark our anniversary with a bouquet of our most favorite flower – purple dendrobium orchid that is symbolic of royalty, admiration, and respect.

As Sarah addressed my banking needs over the phone, it was obvious that she did so with a passion to serve her Capital One clients, and that she had paid attention to my every word and made a decision to reach out to me and my husband in this surprising and exciting way. In case you are wondering, ‘No,’ I did not discuss my love for orchids with her….and ‘Yes’, my husband and I happen to be a couple that does NOT believe in coincidences!

As we extend our gratitude to Sarah (of Capital One Bank), We want to acknowledge the spirit of humanity that Capital One Bank promotes in its workplace. For our suspicion is that in the absence of a culture that significantly touches the lives of their clients, Sarah might have experienced a roadblock when she planned to embrace us in such a sweet way.

As a couple who strives to awaken the spirit of humanity in all areas of our life, we fully appreciate this and say a big Thank You to Sarah and Capital One Bank for touching our lives in this special way.

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As can be seen from the pictures below, this special connection which gave us the opportunity to quickly get into gear for an impromptu photo shoot – with selfies and all – was properly savored.  A moment we know was initiated by love, compassion and appreciation for humankind that will surely outlast the flowers even as they receive the tender and loving care that they deserve from a place of prominence in our showroom!

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Related Post

The Lessons of Life: Wedding Anniversary Reflections

The Lessons of Life: Wedding Anniversary Reflections

On this first day of our 15th year together as husband and wife, and 17th year as friends who built our relationship on a firm foundation of respect, I want to shout out to my husband and to the world at large, my elation for having been given the opportunity to have James A. Lacy as a partner-in-growth. OUR 9TH WEDDING ANNIVERSARY

To my darling husband, I say, “ The Lord above” is at work 14 years after having blessed us with the abundant spirit of mutual love, respect, camaraderie, and satisfaction. Little did I know it would be you, who would personify the Angel that I knew “God had not as yet given birth to” – one that was deserving of, and most capable of reviving a half-way broken spirit, thus causing me to release and share all that was good, kind, gentle, respectful with another; one that would see the importance of dutifully assuming the role of the absolutely exceptional “Dad” you have been to our children who undoubtedly have benefited from interacting with you as an effective male role model.”

Still Smiling and Thankful 2 Years Later

It is an understatement to say that my other half has far exceeded the expectations of my then skeptical self with the manifestation of his understanding of love, legacy and commitment to family. That my parents embraced him as the son they “never birthed”, speaks volumes of this gentle giant who in turn has done nothing short of live up to their expectations.

The Lessons of this Love Affair 

What a wonderful thing it is to be able to be so connected that we effortlessly finish each other’s sentences! This closeness, in addition to the exceptional courage my helpmate exudes in the midst of health challenges each and every day, has made our personal trials and tribulations less about us, and more about what we must do when it is our time and our turn to face the challenges of life with full awareness that “it” does not discriminate, and that “it” will stop at everyone’s doorstep sooner or later.  This is a fact of life which, once embraced, changes perspectives on how we must conduct business in the Lessons of Life Department.

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It is because we both know and appreciate this, that “woe is me” does not exist in our lexicon of life. That we have chosen to use the challenges of our life’s journey to inspire, empower and personify the spirit of gratitude and appreciation, will help keep the “for better or for worse, in sickness and in health” flame burning- not just for us, but for others who care to adopt this mindset.

I also dedicate this to other couples who are experiencing their share of adversity, and, again, here share the following tips that we developed for “When Adversity Strikes”:

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The Valens Award Experience

As one who has been known to say “Thank You, but not now”, I feel obligated to express my innermost thoughts on the reason why it was so easy to say “yes, we accept” when nominated for the Valens Award by Excellence-in-Success. My initial response was that it will be “a necessary boost to the Spirit!” which we needed in order to take a break from our “new normal” of almost daily doctor’s appointments and seemingly endless paperwork. That, though, would have been too empty and self-serving; so it quickly turned into a mission to advocate for love, camaraderie, and hope for all, including an important component….to give others a reason to show up and be relevant even in the midst of challenges that often force them into hibernation from the public. We believe we serve humanity no purpose when we as a people create this type of scenario that causes those experiencing setbacks in their life to protect themselves from the sometimes unempathetic dissociation that comes about in times like these. Who can blame anyone for protecting themselves from man-made additional stress while they have bigger fish to fry?

The Valens Award presented to me and my husband as a couple who “demonstrate unconditional commitment to each other” is one that we fully and wholeheartedly accepted last Saturday at the Brentwood Country Club; knowing that this gesture would be an opportunity to further our resolve to live a purposeful life to the best of our abilities, and to inspire others to keep this flame burning.E5B2A337-25FF-4AE4-BE62-56DB30394DE2 We thank Mr. & Mrs. Leslie Lambert for this opportunity.

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Mr. & Mrs. James Lacy

 

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With Mrs. Alicia Figueras-Lambert

Our guests whom we regard as our extended family members joined our immediate family members to show their spirit of commitment and support to us at a moment’s notice.

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        Family Love

We acknowledge the loving support of Rev. Dr. & Mrs. Edward Corley who were represented by their son and daughter-in-law. Our gratitude goes out in large measure to the following people who were in attendance: Miss Madona Branch, Mr. Hugh Lacy, Dr. Roxane Lacy, Ms. Zellin Lowe, Ms. Letoria Haughton, Mr. & Mrs. James Daniels, Mr. & Mrs. Kevin Taylor, Mr. & Mrs Edward D. Corley, Mr. & Mrs. Clyde James, Dr. & Mrs. Leroy Monroe and Ms. Florence Whitfield.

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Extended Family Love Ruled!

Along with the excitement of being the recipients of the Valens Award, we at the same time, wondered why we should be honored for doing what we were mandated to do when we took our vows in 2004…to love, honor and fully embrace each other in “good times and in bad”. Once we arrived on the scene, we were able to experience the benefits of being in a room full of like-minded couples who had inspirational stories – each with their own unique twists to their experiences.

We were delighted to be in the same league of a fine group of couples whose devotion to one another indeed deserved the radiant spotlight of the Excellence-in-Success Valens Award.

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Some fellow honorees and their guests even took time out to minister to us. How wonderful that was! We thank them for allowing the spirit of love to move them in this way. We are honored to have participated in such an inspiration-filled evening— with stories from all angles of life experiences as proud couples shared their own unique stories about their relationships at the podium, and through their turning point statements read by Alicia Figueras-Lambert as she introduced them.

Below is the turning point statement of our relationship.

How We Do It

James and Madona demonstrate resilience in their relationship through their capacity for weathering adversity and maintaining normalcy in their navigation of James’ serious health challenge over the past three years –demonstrating the true essence of partnership “in sickness and in health”. The couple regards this turning point in their collective lives, as one for strengthening an already tight bond of love, devotion, mutual support, respect and partnership in all arenas of their life; driven by the sentiments reflected in a Valentines tribute composed in February 2016 and recorded by James in 2017 entitled “Be My Valentine” by James Lacy (https://youtu.be/EdG-GFvYAYo)

When Adversity Strikes…Pay the Lessons of Your Experiences Forward with Love!

It is our hope that people will begin to see they are not irrelevant and useless when the sideshows of life strike.  On that score, we will now share in love a few tips of what has worked for us as a couple navigating such sideshows. Please click on link for PDF copy.

   When Adversity Strikes: by Madona Cole-Lacy & James A. Lacy

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Celebrating Samuel: Happy Birthday

IMG_20171103_231459As I continue to enjoy the excitement brought on by so many who reached out to me on my birthday yesterday, I must pause for a moment today, to celebrate the 26th Birthday of my son, Samuel Rotimi. I thank God for bringing him thus far, and pray that as he holds on to the reigns of young adult life, he will abundantly showered with the resources and determination he would need to realize the blessings of success.  As an equal opportunity nurturer, I cannot just stop here without offering a few ‘mommy tips’ which I doubt will come to Samuel as a surprise.

Here goes!

 

Dear Samuel,

Congratulations on your 26th birthday!  26, is regarded as an age of adulthood by some, while others regard it as the age of young adulthood.  I regard you at 26, as a young man whose ideals border on adulthood – one who has determined what he wants life to look like for him. Nevertheless, these Mommy tips are in order just in case you should you need them:

          Commitment

  1. The most exciting and responsible aspect of commitment is realizing that we must work, and work hard for whatever it is that we want that badly. Something tells me this might be redundant for it appears as though you might have internalized this memo which I see manifested in the way you conduct business.                                                                                                                           Working With Others
  2. The ability to be a team player will go a long way in our professional aspirations. The key to navigating this successfully starts with self-discipline and pre-determination of where we are to draw the line. Team players do not follow or endorse blindly! They band together to add substance and value.                                                                                                                                                                                             Self-Preservation
  3. That people will take advantage of a “kind and giving spirit” is an age old fact of life. While it is not advisable to stop being kind and giving, it is necessary for us to be discerning and be prepared to say ‘no, not now’ when we find ourselves giving to the point of operating on empty.

Here are some precious mommy moments that warm my heart.

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Dad and I wish you all the best in all that you may wish for yourself. Remember, the door is always open to you for consultation!

love,

Mom