My Time 4 Talk

Love Makes a Difference: It really Does

It may not have been obvious to anyone at the Holy Trinity Baptist Church of Amityville that particular Sunday morning, that they were part of a God ordained assignment set to enrich the spirit and soul. When we were alerted to Reverend Dr. Kevin M. Northam’s visit to Long Island from Dinwiddie, VA, my husnand and I knew that would be a great opportunity to worship with, and possibly bond with extended family members from Virginia. This turned out to be a dot-connecting experience for us on October 9, 2016, as Reverend Northam set out to explain the role of love in the lives of believers based on Matthew 15: 21-28 (A mother desperately seeking help for her child).

Lessons learned:
“Somebody probably told her the Lord is good…but we need to do research for ourselves. You’ve got to get to know him for yourself”

On the mindset of the mother seeking help for her daughter
* “She could not solve or handle her child’s problem, so she went to the problem solver …She followed Jesus.”

* “She went to Jesus out of her love for her child – when we love someone, we will go to all lengths to seek help for them.”

A word for the church


* “The disciples said: ‘Send her away for she cries after us.’  ‘We don’t even know her name…all you need to know is that the Lord knows your name.'”
* “This woman could say to us, ‘You might not think much of me because when Matthew wrote about me, he didn’t even mention my name.’”
* “All you need to know is that the Lord knows who you are. I am glad she is not like some church folk. Some church folk would say; wait a minute Matthew, you need to write this again.  Do you want me to spell my name for you…?”

* “There are a lot of folk in the Bible that the Lord blessed…and we don’t even know their names.”

* “The disciples wanted to send her away and reported that, ‘she cried after us.’ They had the audacity to say, ‘she crieth after us.’ The disciples asked Jesus to send her away… everybody does not have to get your approval.”

* “We have to be careful in the church. That’s the problem with the church today. Folks have it mixed up. They did not come there for you. They come there for God…….”

#Serious condition  #Secondary character #He was testing her

 

I want to note that the sacredness of the message Dr. Northam delivered on how love makes a difference was upheld at the post-service dinner. This, my husband and I, received as an experience that the DOCTOR prescribed – particularly as a birthday week treat – a perfect prelude to another birthday for my husband as we celebrate God’s love for us as evidenced by the manifestation of his healing power.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


Making the World a Smaller Place: Embracing Multi-Culturalism Through Art & Fashion

My quest to contribute to the making of the world a smaller place took me to Bellport High School last week. It was a pleasure to meet and interact with a mix of multi-ethnic students with the express purpose of assisting them in identifying and celebrating their respective cultural heritage and family traditions in preparation for the designing and creation of their own unique Coat of Many CulturesTM  (This project is funded by a grant from South Country Education Foundation to the school)

There were students who spoke with a great sense of confidence, others who, even though they did not say it, would have preferred to introduce themselves in terms of a subculture they had created or acquired that they were obviously comfortable with. Others appeared to be disconnected from their cultural background because “they were born here” and had not been exposed to “anything” “cultural. Whatever the case may be, I stay committed to my role in the lives of these students as we work diligently toward designing a coat that will not only speak to their identity for years to come, but will take them on a journey of self-empowerment and appreciation for their cultural heritage.

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(Madona Cole-Lacy with Art Students at Bellport High School – Easing Into the Creative Process Through Engagement)

As I anticipate an unpredictable yet successful execution of these series of workshops which I facilitate in Long Island and beyond, I want to highlight a few points that I believe society can bear in mind as they nurture and empower their children particularly in times like these when teachers are reporting bully related incidents that are targeted at children who may not necessarily represent the race and cultural background of those who torment them.

1. If we instill a strong sense of belonging in our children, there will be no need to worry about them being victimized by others. There are no “others” in an all-inclusive world where people work together for the common good of humanity.

2. It is important to maintain family traditions that reinforce cultural values.

3.  Parents should do an ancestry search, and share information about family heritage with their children.

4.  We should research and/or review the history of our cultural/ethnic/racial/religious group, and hold family discussions regarding this background and how it currently impacts each family member.

5.  Promote social studies and history education in schools that is fully inclusive of all ethnic, racial, religious and cultural groups.  This should emphasize their values and contributions to humanity.

We can’t know where we’re going until we know who we are and where we as people have been or been through.

Learn more about my art-related personal development and social/cultural enrichment workshops tailored to schools and community organizations here.

 

 


Thankfulness Knows No Boundaries

I am ever so thankful for the ability to give and receive thanks every waking moment of the day! While I will be the first to admit that I have found it impossible to get individual “thank you” notes out as expeditiously as I would love to, it is my hope that sharing my thoughts on thankfulness on this forum would clear any doubts and answer some questions. I thank God on a daily basis for the unfathomable blessings that come my way. These blessings, which come in many forms, include the gift of altruism, patience, and the opportunity to teach and learn brought on by the following people in my life:

My Husband                                                 

I thank my husband for the pillar of support and devoted helpmate he has been to me in a way that has not only taken our relationship to higher heights, but has created a strong foundation of support for my children and parents. I thank him for his unconditional commitment to a union in which the two have undoubtedly become one.

My Children

I thank my children for taking time out to demonstrate that they hear me loudly and clearly, even as they journey through young adulthood into the portals of adulthood where I expect they will freely give and graciously receive in a manner that is way beyond that which has been modeled for them.

My Parents

I thank my parents for a whole lot, and particularly, for the firm foundation they laid for me so many moons ago. It is that invaluable resource that I pull from to navigate the rigors of life today. I thank them in ways that only those who belong to that special ‘Adult Children Society’ can understand and appreciate!

My Siblings

My siblings – how can I not thank them for the position of prominence they have and will forever hold in my life! I thank them for doing their best to understand and appreciate the ‘who that I am’ and for affording me the opportunity to have a go at reciprocating. Family relationship dynamic is priceless, for, it is still a truism that blood is thicker than water, even though water plays an important role in our lives.

My Worldwide Family                           

I am indeed thankful for the various ways the people I encounter in all facets of my life’s journey choose to connect with all or some of what can sometimes appear to be a ‘complex personality’, and I will not give up this wonderfully unique relationship for all the diamonds in Sierra Leone. I find this sometimes complicated relationship to be one that is absolutely necessary for me to grow and flourish. The good news is this: The covert and occasionally overt unhealthy vibes I receive from some members of this important family are just as valuable and appreciated as the manifestation of kindness, gentleness, and generosity exhibited by others.

I am thankful for the lessons taught by those who have the ability to be empathetic, among other virtues. I thank them for the assurance that as I strive to be the best that I can be, I will not be frivolously judged and denigrated par chance I fail to “dot my I’s and cross my T’s“. This, virtue quite naturally, comes from the willingness to easily recall and empathetically connect with situations when the shoe was on the other foot.img_4774What a relief to know that human beings, no matter what their individual agendas, can recognize how valuable they are to one another once they are able to identify the role they are destined to play in the lives of others! This is all the more reason why I am thankful to everyone for being their authentic selves in their dealings with me – be it directly or indirectly!

Thank You, Again.

What are you truly thankful for? Please take a moment to share.


The Joy of Self-Actualization

When was the last time you did something that was work-related and felt so satisfied  from that experience that you actually thanked yourself for having made the choice to follow that career path?  That high level of satisfaction was all mine as I worked with a group of ladies at the Wyandanch public library who for the first time last week, had a go at textile designing and fabric stamping…on silk fabric, no less !

It was not the resulting designs that each participant executed that caused this level of excitement and satisfaction. It was the way they each looked inwardly to draw strength and determination to get there. It was the intense nature of their interaction with the tools, their determination to master tools they were unfamiliar with, the ease with which they connected with me as their facilitator, the presence of great camaraderie, and last but by no means least, the sense of pride they each exuded as they modeled their final product. Enough said, see for yourself by watching the presentation below.

 I invite your comments and the sharing of your latest experience on the Joy of Self-Actualization.

Libraries, schools and community organizations can request this and other social and cultural art-related workshops that can be tailored to their needs or desires.             

Contact Us    

www.mytimehascome.org

 

 


School and Community Collaborate to Empower Children

The Christian Cultural Center’s Cultural Arts Academy Charter School – a charter school of the arts- hosted a homecoming event at their Brooklyn location recently.  What was so special about that event was an element that served to raise awareness of the importance of entrepreneurship for those who pursue the arts – especially for children at the primary school level. 

The event coordinator, Mrs. Joy Spruill, a Fine Arts graduate herself, who gained first hand experience on how difficult it is for creative people to successfully follow their bliss through entrepreneurship, was right on target with this vision.  “Far too many African Americans lack the knowledge or financial soundness to even consider this as an option. It is my intention to surround our students with familiar faces that have accomplished the challenge of owning their own business. It is my hope that through exposure that entrepreneurship will no longer seem so foreign to our scholars.” Mrs. Spruill said of the motivation behind this event.

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Worthy of note and a great delight, is the fact that a kindergarten vendor participated as a seller of lemonade – which not surprisingly – sold out before long. “She exemplified one who demonstrated to her peers, that regardless of age, one can acquire an understanding and an interest at all different levels that can lead to a successful experience.” Mrs. Spruill added.

I was quite flattered when asked to participate as the featured vendor of an event that would serve to plant the seeds of entrepreneurship in the minds of our children. Kudos to Principal Laurie Midgette for working with Mrs. Spruill to bring this vision alive!  It was a delight to be able to engage in meaningful conversations that were initiated by these young and curious minds. I was told that I had been selected as a featured artist/ entrepreneur, not only because of my “beautiful works of art” but because of my “willingness to give back to causes such as the arts, cancer, children, etc.”

“Character development is one of the main missions of our school. Thank you, Madona Cole Lacy for your example of good character.” -Joy Spruill-

It is fitting for me to end by saying it was indeed a pleasure to execute my duty as a “Good Villager” and join the church, school, home and community as a whole, to creatively empower our future leaders. The Cultural Arts Academy Charter School can count on me to collaborate with their creatively supportive spirit in the future. The warm embrace I received from Principal Midgette, Mrs. Spruill and her husband Ron Spruill, and others I encountered, will forever remain with me, and serve as a catalyst that adds to fueling the connection of the dots of my creativity! 

I believe that much encouragement should be given to community-generated initiatives aimed at encouraging self-sufficiency that can be realized by practitioners of the arts. This is a start to acquainting our children with the many elements that make for successful entrepreneurship.

 What innovative ways to embrace and steer young minds toward success have you entertained or implemented? Please share.madona-cole-lacy-2

This lovely display by the Joy Spruill team of an almost life-like photo and bio was as humbling as it was amazing! My husband,  James Lacy, and I extend our gratitude to everyone who made this a special experience for us.

connecting-the-dots-for-exh

 

 

 

 


A Daughter’s Plight: My Response

Use fear and anxiety as tools to focus your energies on building yourself up in ways that you can be a blessing, not just to your family and friends, but also to those who do not mean well for you.

Source: A Daughter’s Plight: My Response


A Daughter’s Plight: My Response

The following is a social media posting  I woke up to on the morning after the 2016 Election Day

“Accurate description of how I feel right now:
In the sixth grade, I found out that the KKK still exists…that it wasn’t an entity that solely existed in my history books like the Civil War, the Emancipation Proclamation, and outright literal slavery in the US, but that it was an organization that still exists to this day.
My first reaction wasn’t irritation, rage or frustration. It was fear. Deep, bone-chilling fear that produced sobs that wracked my 12 year old body. And I only had one concern in response: will they kill me? Can I be killed for no reason?
If I try to fit in and I don’t talk slang, and I tell everyone I don’t like fried chicken or grape drink, if I cringe along with the white people in my class when slavery is brought up in history class…IF I DO EVERYTHING RIGHT, EVERYTHING TO ERASE MY BLACKNESS, WILL THEY KILL ME ANYWAY BECAUSE OF MY SKIN?

And of course, those sobs were hysterical. I realized that I could not totally protect myself. If someone was out to kill black people, they need not wait until I open my mouth. They need only look at the skin I was born in and can’t change.
It was the moment I remember feeling the most afraid and impotent. That is how I feel now. I can’t move past this question that it’s a shame I have to ask: will they kill me? Will I survive to see the next president elect in 2020?

Way back in middle school, I eventually concluded that I was overreacting and my life wasn’t truly in danger. I was overly emotional and easily frightened.
Over ten years have passed since then and I’m struggling to stay rational, to not give in to fear… But I heard how he spoke at rallies and the debates, I heard his soundbytes, I heard how his supporters spoke and how they behaved…and I can’t tell if I’m overreacting this time.
And that’s what terrifies me the most.”

My dear daughter, Madona Ayorinde,

As the mother of that middle schooler and 10 years later, a young adult who is trying to make sense of life on her own terms, I want you to know that it is at times like these that you work at unleashing qualities of the firm foundation which has been laid in you over the years.          madona-recent-college-graduate-6

madona_ayorinde

The seeds of sensitivity, high self-esteem, love and appreciation of the humanity of mankind, empathy and much more that have been embedded in you are now yours to use.

I wish I could make you a promise that moments like these will be few and far between as you blossom into full adulthood, but I can’t, as the reality of life as I know it dictates otherwise. The trick is to use the tools that are available to you in a manner that will bring about self-preservation in the physical and mental health sense of the term, with little or no chance of feeling victimized by the shenanigans of this sometimes cruel adult world. I implore you to always operate from the mindset that: it is not the hand that life deals you that defines you, but it is the way you handle what is thrown at you that defines the essence of life for you.

My Apologies

I am sorry that for you there were no satisfactory explantions that could have protected your 6th grade mind set from what you discribe as bone-chilling fear when you learnt that the KKK was not merely a group that once existed, but one that was and is now alive and well.  img_20161012_085051119

I am sorry that current events have taken you back to reliving the nightmare that no child should have to experience, as adults around them espouse hatred, racism, bigotry, insensitivity, ignorance, lewdness as the status  quo.

I am sorry you once entertained making changes to the essence of your being and or buying into the stereotypes that a cross-section of white America has in place for its black counterparts, in order to fit in and escape the wrath of the KKK.

I am particularly sorry I did not read between the lines at that time to identify the emotional trauma you experienced, for you know my parent-school alliance initiative would have been stepped up to include tools that the school would have had to put in place to address this important issue in a manner that would have been of benefit to not just you, but to the rest of the school. Surely, you recall from experience how important it was to me that the school reinforced the basic universal personal development values I taught you at home.

Having said this, my daughter, I want you to know that one cannot be adequately prepared for the complexities of life. We know not when and in what form societal ugliness may come our way. It is for this reason that I will again stress the importance of readiness through the implementation of self-improvement tools.4dab9cda33bb411a1795c424533210fc

I iimg_20150528_200840.jpgmplore you to focus your energies on building yourself up in ways that you can be a blessing, not just to your family and friends, but also to those who do not mean well for you. I ask you to do this bearing in mind that the only competition you have to contend with is YOURSELF. Allow me to draw upon the gift of Grandpa’s wisdom, as I say to you: “Festine Lente.” Hasten slowly, as in act decisively, yet thoughtfully! I ask you to take your time to figure out how you can tap into the academic discipline, life-skills and orientation you have received thus far, to turn around what you perceive as an eminent license for nationwide ugliness, danger, and unsettling behavior. If I know of anyone with the capability to do so, it is you. “Let your light so shine…”. You know Dad and I have your back, and that we are here for you.

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 A Mommy Disclosure

What you may not fully realize is that, as a United States Citizen and Citizen of the World – with deep community and family values that were instilled in me at an early age in my country of birth- I am automatically a good candidate for some form of discrimination, rejection, and the issue of fitting in – more often than I care to recount. This, my child, is in no way to be confused with the occasional misunderstandings that occur in the normal discord of life! It is the waging of all-out war in the…just because.. department!

The ‘God News’ is that even though the scale may tip more to the side of the undesirable, it is not everyone that I know or encounter that is this lacking or needy in character and spirit.  I suspect by now, you are asking how I manage to appear so ‘sane and composed – most of the time.’  I can tell you what I do not consider to be viable options: withdrawing into isolation, cutting ‘these people’ off (this is not possible as they are all over the place), a tit-for-tat stance,  a feeling sorry for self response or engaging in self-destructive behaviors. How I deal with this is to position myself to continually search for positive ways to prevent this phenomenon from overshadowing my sense of self. Maintaining a sense of self mindset in each unique encounter helps me emerge from the lion’s den emotionally, socially and culturally intact. Also, please note that if I were to internalize the negative effects of this dynamic and allow said perpetrators to take control of my life, I doubt that those touching sentiments you and your brother, Samuel, recently expressed to me on my birthday would have ever found their way to me in a hurry.

I will now summarize the personal development tools of my response in easy-to- read quotes I have formulated:

Personal Development Madonarisms                                                                                   by Madona Cole-Lacy 

1. Since there is no patent on societal ugliness and propensity to minimize humanity, do not assume there is one to prevent you from unleashing the qualities of a firm foundation which has been laid in you over the years.

2. Use fear and anxiety as tools to focus your energies on building yourself up in ways that you can be a blessing, not just to your family and friends, but also to those who do not mean well for you.

3. Those of us who have lived long enough know that bigotry, racism, and many more “isms” that are in place to suppress and diminish others are alive and well in all shapes and sizes.

4. Whenever we consider directing our attention toward the avoidance of stereotypes meted out to us by others, we unwittingly position ourselves to accepting the hate they espouse. Hatred for self is as unlikely to cause the unenlightened, unfeeling and uncaring to love us more, as self-empowerment is as likely to chase these characters away from us -each time! You know which one to go for!

5. I implore you to focus your energies on building yourself up in ways that give you joy and satisfaction in knowing that you can indeed be a blessing, not just to your family and friends, but also to those who do not necessarily mean well for you.

6. We must approach life knowing that the path to being an Agent of Change begins andmother-and-daughter-madona-ayorinde-volunteer-event-photoghapher-for-the-day-2 ends with us. This change is only accomplished when we operate from a place of understanding that the change we desire is the change we want to be …and the first step to this long and sometimes arduous haul begins with us.

 God Bless You, My Daughter. 

Mom, Momeeeee, Mother, Madona Catherine